This Means War
Сonflicts Experts believe: no scandals impossible to build a happy relationship. The main thing is to learn to do it right
If you think about it, the quarrel with a loved one cannot be in any way. He's a favorite! However, in practice it turns reverse. Love, ranked in the joint life vices, often wrapped scandals. Which would not seem a trivial background to clarify the relationship, psychologists believe that the true reason for the quarrel a few:
- lack of affection, care, attention or heat;
- sex and (or) psychological incompatibility partners;
- Partner disrespectful (while you suffer from one of the main needs of each individual - the need to feel the importance of their own "I");
- too much difference in views on raising children, maintaining the household budget, related to the family, leisure activities;
- morbid fascination of one of the partners of alcohol, drugs and other excesses;
- Lack of positive emotions.
In addition to these reasons, there is an aggressive influence of the environment, which, like acid, eating away our feelings to each other. Losing a job or conflicts with colleagues and leadership, the deterioration of the financial situation, fatigue, congestion, loans ... All of this makes us not only nervous, but also quarrel with their partner.
If you have the patience and intelligence to determine the true cause of his chronic dissatisfaction with the man, the conflict situation can already be considered solved exactly in half.
About the benefits of SCANDALS
Yes, quarrels are not only necessary but also essential. They have plenty of advantages and merits:
- During an argument your partner at a glance. In the heat of battle he Nako-Heff is telling the truth, whole truth and nothing but the truth. Unless, of course, it is not chaotic stream of insults. However, the true views and true interests of men, we sometimes learn only in the midst of an argument. However, do not worry. Psychologists believe that 10-15 percent of the conflict to improve, not worsen the situation in the family.
- If during an argument turns the true reason for her - it's great. Because there is a chance to eliminate the contradictions that led to a quarrel.
- Brawl - a great way to defuse the atmospheric electricity, which accumulated for weeks, if not months. No wonder many married scene ends with tears not only reconciliation, but also quite convincing sex.
- The conflict - it is also the experience. And it doesn’t matter is he negative or positive. The main thing is that you will never learn to quarrel properly if you do not quarrel at all.
- If the quarrel properly aware that all conflicts are developed by the same laws, we can not only learn how to manage any scandal, but also get out of it a winner. How to do it? Who will teach.
Two stages of quarrel
Smart women are trying to extinguish the conflict is still at the stage of stress. The rules are very simple: patience, patience and again patience. No need to shout over nothing and demand from the men the impossible (for example, from the phlegmatic - fatal passions or choleric - quiet family evenings watching TV seven times a week). In any case, if you feel that in some respects there was a false note or painful, it is better to choose a time when you have enough time and good mood and just ... talk heart to heart. Very often this is enough to pay off the scandal back in the cradle. Mutual resentment still increased so much that you involuntarily grasping something of iron, for the frying pan? Keep in mind that normal sane rowdies know that during an argument, you cannot just yell and throw a banana peel, but also to behave according to a strategy of conflict behavior. Rivalry is live illustration of the nursery rhyme about how two sheep met on the bridge early in the morning, for example. If you remember, it all ended so that both the sheep were drowned about the same ending rivalry. And there was nothing dull and rested impose each other their point of view! Cooperation. Instead of needlessly strain your vocal cords, you sit down, open laptops and busily looking for an option that will satisfy both.